Domestic violence: When will we put an end to it?

Violence at a domestic level has been there for ages. Be it the high profile society or the middle class or the poor. It has affected and is still affecting millions around the globe and there is not much that we are doing. Violence is not only the physical violence but also the mental violence which can go unnoticed by others while the sufferer is tortured day and night. Fighting against domestic violence is being taken up and sufferers are urged to come forward and start a better life for themselves by getting support and right advice from agencies set up for this alone. The purple ribbon and October have been selected as a symbol to fight against this worldwide crime and help the ones in need.

For women

It has made news and has been known for a long time that women, known as the weaker sex, have been the target of their husbands or father or other male relatives and face different levels of abuse at their hands. They have been hit with hands, kicked in the stomach, banged against walls and thrown like toys. Most of the time the only reason for such violence is the fact that the person committing the crime is drunk and looking for money, or has been upset over something, or has argued over some issue and had no other way out than getting into a fit and throwing a tantrum and letting out the frustration of their unsuccessful life on the women of their home. Most of these men are unsecure and have low self esteem and are in need of serious help. There is always a reason behind such violent behaviour against someone they love and these people are in need of serious treatment. I am not taking their side but until a disease is cured, it will not go away and cutting off your hand to get rid of it is not the solution.

Most of these crimes go unnoticed because after the crime generally there are many sorry feelings and promises of never doing so again and the women are weak or thing of their reputation or children and feel helpless. They feel that they will not be able to live on their own and therefore keep quite. They also feel their love for their partners stop them from complaining because they do not wish to hurt their feelings. It is important that such women have help centres where they can go and talk things out to get the right advice and be able to think in neutral environment. Thankfully this issue is being discussed worldwide and may be things have started improving.

For men

We have a tendency of categorising women as the victims of domestic violence. Yes the majority of the physical abuses are of women in this scenario but men are abused mentally and this is not seen by anyone. Where men can use their physical strength, women can use their mental strength. It may be difficult to relate or imagine but it is true that many men are mentally tortured by being degraded and made to feel worthless. The reaction of this is seen as in their releasing their frustrations outside of home. This face of domestic violence is not looked into at all but is true and may be the underlying reason of many happenings, be it infidelity or violence or aggression, which they are unable to show at home and want to prove themselves as men in the outside world.

For children

Domestic violence affects children the most even as passive spectators. Their young minds are unable to decipher the reasons behind the violence and torture and grow with a different perspective of family life. They may in turn be the cause of more domestic violence and may continue the trend that they saw as children. There are many cases where even children are not immune to physical violence. They are beaten in frustrations of the world and their young bodies and minds left broken and helpless. I once read the book “A child called IT” and recommend everyone to read it and I promise them they will be in tears. It is the true life story of a young boy (Dave Pelzer) who was tortured, beaten and many time starved by his mother and the stark reality was overlooked by his father because he lacked the courage to stand up to his wife.

Let us speak up and stop this horrible torture because from what I see it is much more than just the physical marks on the body. The physical hurt will go but what the mind has suffered will be there for ever.